Great quotes by Officers of the Law

[PPI Tim]

A friend sent me these.  I enjoyed them and thought of sharing. Enjoy

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."  (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."  ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

[PPI Jason]

I've only personally used #4, #8, and a modification of #10.

For #10 I usually say, "Look, Fair is a place where pigs go to win ribbons."

Very cool Tim. Thanks for posting these 

[PPI Karl]

I've saving up to use #10 sometime, too, at my next grade dispute.  

These are great, Tim. 

[PPI Karl]

I don't know why I felt compelled to post this in this thread, but it seemed aptly related to the topic.

I received an e-mail from a student who wrote me to explain why he missed the first day of class.  (We're heavily impacted this fall, and instructors are dropping no-shows immediately to give people on the copious Wait Lists a chance to get into the class.) 

This has to be up there in my top ten of favorite excuses:  he had to go to a police station to take a polygraph test.  (D'you think he was telling me the truth?  )

[PPI Tracy]

My personal favs are #9 and #11.

Oh...and the one about the polygraph test!  (ask him if he passed or not)

[PPI Tim]

You should have asked them if they passed the polygraph Karl.

[ljiljanac]

lol  i'm pleading the 5th.

[PPI Tracy]

lol  i'm pleading the 5th.

Now does that mean silence or the fact that you LOVE #5 and use it regularly?   

[ljiljanac]

lol  i'm pleading the 5th.

Now does that mean silence or the fact that you LOVE #5 and use it regularly?   

I still have to plead the 5th.  LMAO!!      I'm 100% sure that most of the cops who have said these things were routine ticket writers.  lol