Keeping an open mind

[ljiljanac]

I just finished reading Karl's article entitled "Big, Scary Mess:  Clutter and its Connection to Paranormal Investigation".  While reading, an experience I had as an EMT came to mind.  I learned a valuable lesson from that experience that I carry with me through every contact with every person. 

While working on an ambulance as an EMT, my partner and I transported a patient who I shall call "Shirley".  I call her "Shirley" because I'm pretty sure that was her actual name.     ::|   I was tending her in the back while my partner drove.  Shirley reminded me if a short little blonde Laura Bush.  Shirley was lying on the gurney and began telling me her story...(warning!  it's kinda long.  sorry)......

Shirley had grown up in a "normal" household with nothing really unusual to note.  She graduated high school, met a wonderful man (I shall call him "Joe" because I have no idea what his name was), and married the guy.  Years went by and the stresses of marriage and kids caught up with them both.  Joe started to make comments to her about not being the wife he wanted and not being good enough.  Joe became verbally abusive and made it a point to let her know how unfit of a wife she was.  She could no longer do anything right.  Shirley knew that Joe's love for her had dissolved into dislike.  Although she suspected he may be cheating on her, Shirley remained desperate to make him happy.  Shirley tried to keep up with the housework and errands better and to be a better wife. 

While snooping through his wallet, (yes, snooping like many a "good wifey"), she found a card.  This card identified Joe as a member of the (Sicilian or Mexican, I don't remember) Mafia.  Shirley asked Joe about this card in order to determine if it was legitmate or a joke.  Joe angrily advised her that the identification was legitimate, that he was a member of said Mafia, and that she now knew the truth about him.  Joe told Shirley that she would have to die.  Joe told Shirley that he was going to organize "a hit" on her so that he would not be found guilty of shooting her dead himself.  Joe told Shirley to watch out for men on the street who would be coming to blow her head off. 

Shortly after the threat, Shirley noticed that she was being followed by men in different vehicles.  Shirley was followed to the store, to the bank, to the Post Office, and home.  Joe started leaving her home alone at night and not coming home for days.  Joe told her he was doing Mafia work.  Shirley received phone calls at night from people who would say nothing when she answered.  Shirley became terrified that Joe was slowly carrying out his threat, and that she would die.

Shirley told her friends and family about what was happening and about the threats that Joe had made.  Shirley told them she was in fear of being murdered, and that she was being followed.  Shirley tried to protect herself and them pulling them into corners with her when those suspicious vehicles found her.  Shirley made them duck down when a vehicle would drive by so they would not be shot.  Her friends and family could not believe that Joe, her prince, could possibly be so evil.  No one believed that Shirley was being followed or stalked in any way by anyone.  As a matter of fact, they told Joe what Shirley was claiming.  Shirley was promptly driven to the hospital to talk to a doctor.  Shirley, believing that she was finally in a safe place with people who could and would help her, told the doctor her story. 

Shirley told me that the doctor was sending her to a "safe house", and that my partner and I were her ride.  Shirley then looked out the back window, yelled, "Duck!", unbelted herself from the gurney, and dove onto the floor between the gurney and the bench seat (where I happened to be sitting).  Shirley told me that the vehicle behind us was one of the vehicles that have been followig her for days.  Shirley told me they were going to try to shoot through the back door, and that I needed to get down so I would not be shot.  After thanking Shirley for her concern for my safety and telling her that the entire ambulance was bullet-proof, Shirley got back up onto the gurney.  The rest of the ride to Camarillo State Mental Hospital was uneventful.

Questions:  Could everything she said NOT have happened as she had described??  At what point in this story did Shirley "go crazy"?  Is she "crazy"? 

The moral of this story for me is this............1)  Just because something a person tells you is "out of the ordinary" does not mean that it did not happen to them or is not a factual account.  2)  Just because a person's reactions to a particular event is "extreme" does not mean that it is not genuine from a genuinely "sane" person.   

I believe in listening to someone, no matter how tall the tale seems to be to me.  Shirley's story seemed very plausible to me.  Shirley's reaction to the vehicle behind us seemed extreme to me.  But, based on what she believed, her reaction was out of fear and survival.  I could have done one of two things.....I could have told Shirley that the vehicle behind us was a soccer mom in her mini-van (dunno if it was or not), that her "safe house" was the local mental hospital, and that she was being diagnosed as a Paranoid/Schizophrenic....or....I could have done what I did, which was to tell her she was protected, that the windows were all tinted as well so they could not see her inside the ambulance, and that the safe house was not far away.   ::|   I opted for making Shirley happy and secure, rather than upsetting her and making her feel like she was crazy or losing her mind or what-not.

In his article, Karl mentioned the moral dilemna of encouraging people's beliefs of paranormal activity that really is not there just by showing up to the investigation and or coming across as a disbeliever right off the bat by not showing up and investigating their claims.  (I hope I said that correctly....I don't have the exact wording in front of me.    )    This is definitely a hard decision to make at times.  I believe we all would err on the side of caution as well.  I like to think that, in many ways, we would be "doing the right thing."  It is definitely a judgement call, and I have to respect those who have to make it.   

In conclusion, I developed a mantra that I take with me to every interview and every contact.......Just because it may be trivial and unimportant to you does not mean that it is not a most serious and important matter to someone else.   

[Gary]

Lily, I liked your story.  That is too funny, while sad at the same time.

I too worked on an ambulance a few years ago as an EMT.  I too was the "patient person" on this call and it was a psych call.  one of my favorite.  With exception to different stories, my patient suffered from the exact same thing as yours.  She was talking to me and explaining how these wild dogs with red eyes managed to get into her house and chase her all the way up stairs into her room.  Once up there, she was saying how these rat type creatures were coming out of her closet.  Maybe a little more imaginative then your experience, but in her mind, it was all real.  And as trained, and without difficulty, I just calmly spoke and reassured her that she was safe as we transported her to the mental hospital.  I don't think she quite understood where we were taking her, but she was very elderly and malnourished.  Poor lady.  BUT, that was my job, and as you would know as an EMT, or ANY public safety official, you MUST find some humor in some of it or it will kill you. 

Thank you for your story!  Sorry mine wasn't as long and interesting!   

[ljiljanac]

Thanks Gary       I truly didn't realize just how long it was until I opened it up just now to read your reply.  MAN, THAT'S A LONG ONE!!!!   HAHA!        I'll bet you have EMT stories to swap!

[Gary]

Considering I only worked as an EMT for 6 months, I do have a few stories.  I will bring a few up later when I have more time.  Try and get a little more detailed.  It's too bad EMT's don't make more or I might still be doing it.  I'll try to share some other stories later!     In the mean time, feel free to share more!   ::|

[PPI Jason]

Hi Lily,

I think you and I have both come across scenarios pretty similar to the one you experienced on that ambulance numerous times. I love the story our friend, we'll call him Mr. Chambers (because I'm pretty sure that's his real name), shared a pretty cool story with me a while back.

He told me that when he was working in Idaho he came across a pscyhologically challenged person that was wearing tin foil on his head (to bounce away the rays that alien space ships were trying to beam into his head). Chambers' partner told him that a nearby town in Idaho, well out of their jurisdiction, had a special shield that blocked such rays. Chambers never saw that man again......That is until he transferred to a different police department at a nearby town, which happened to be the same nearby town mentioned earlier, in Idaho. The man was still walking around with tin foil on his head.

One similarity between law enforcement and paranormal investigation is that we come into contact with both rational people who have extraordinary claims as well as not-so-rational people who have similarly extraordinary claims. In both law enforcement, and paranormal investigation, we have the tools to help the rational people. But in both professions we are asked, or at least try, to help both the rational and the not-so-rational. It will be a constant struggle to determine what constitutes "help." Is it better to validate the claims made by a schizophrenia sufferer and let them believe they really are being chased by the mafia or is it better to try to educate them and hope that they will find comfort in realizing that they really aren't being chased by the mob, they are just suffering a debilitating disease of the mind that will continue to rob them of an easy life, forever? But what about our responsibility to tell people the truth? We obviously can't validate any claims that we know to be false. We have a reputation for honesty and integrity that we have to maintain. But what about claims that we don't know to be false, at least not for sure? And what if they really are being chased by the mafia? I think a great movie that addresses this issue is "A Beautiful Mind." I highly recommend that movie to anyone that hasn't seen it.


The point I'm trying to make is that it isn't an easy question and that it doesn't have an easy answer. But I think if we maintain our integirty and always keep our clients' interested close to our hearts, we should always be able to make the right decision, if there really is such a thing.

[ljiljanac]

Jason, you're a case manager, aren't you?  I would love to know how you weed out false claims versus genuine claims.

[Gary]

I'll just throw it out there that he does a fabulous job as Case Manager!  I learn something new from him every time I meet with him!  Okay.... take it away Jason!   ;

[PPI Jason]

Gary is way too kind. I think he says things like that because he's afraid I'll make him listen to classical music during long car rides to investigations if he doesn't keep me buttered up.

But in all fairness, the "weeding out" process is not really so much weeding as it is "triage." And it is a group effort in every sense of the word. I can honestly say that we haven't gotten a report of paranormal activity that we haven't looked at seriously, discussed as a group, and then handled in some manner that we decided on after arriving at a consensus as a team.

Step 1: Contact the client and get as much detail about the claims and clients as possible.
Step 2: Present the information to the group, usually on the forums, and discuss in private.
Step 3: Decide on a course of action. This could be anything from scheduling a full on investigation, to scheduling a mini-investigation, to providing advise to a client, to providing a critique of a submitted photo or piece of other evidence, to providing a letter of advise, to referral to another paranormal investigative group. Everyone gets some kind of feedback in some form or fashion.

But your real question is how to discern between a legitimate paranormal experience and one that is more psychologically based. There again, the devil is in the details. I try to get as much information as possible, look for things that don't match up or make sense. I always talk to the client by phone or in person so I can use my "gut" (and training) to get a feel for the client. Then I present everything to the group and we discuss, discuss, discuss. We aren't perfect, and it's not an exact science. But I think we've done pretty well at focusing our energy on what we believe to be the more serious and legitimate reports of paranormal activity we have received.

[ljiljanac]

How often have you had to refer one to another Paranormal Investigative group?  Also, under what conditions or circumstances would you refer them to another group? 

[PPI Jason]

How often have you had to refer one to another Paranormal Investigative group? 

Not very often.

Also, under what conditions or circumstances would you refer them to another group?

There are two common scenarios.

1. The investigation is too far away for us.
2. For one reason or another we aren't able to do the investigation but we want to make sure the client gets the help they need.

In either case, we only refer people to other paranormal groups we know well and trust.