| Provoking, or How to Lose Friends and Influence Ghosts in the Paranormal World |
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| Written by Jason Sieckman | |
| Thursday, 29 January 2009 | |
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As a police officer, I see belligerent people picking fights all the time. I don’t know if it’s what we are as a nation, or what we are as a species, but we seem to love to tick people off. However, paranormal investigators take it a step further. We have been known to, on occasion, tick off the dead. But there is a reason for it. It’s called provoking. This article will try to give a basic outline of the “what,” “how,” and “why” of this somewhat controversial paranormal investigative technique. What is provoking? Short answer: it’s basically picking a fight with a ghost. Long answer: it is the use of any combination of insults, profanity, slurs, and/or rude belligerent comments by a paranormal investigator during an investigation with the intent to anger or upset a spirit or ghost in such a way that motivates said ghost or spirit to manifest itself in some form or fashion that can be recorded on audio or video medium. Here are a few things provoking is not. Provoking is not a form of therapy where paranormal investigators vent frustrations from their day jobs and personal lives by taking them out on non-corporeal beings (i.e. beings that can’t fire them or punch back). Provoking is not intended to get back at dead people who in life were annoying bullies and who died before all their victims had a chance to dish it back. Provoking is not personal. It’s all business. It is a conscious effort on the part of an investigator to get spirits so riled up that they make a noise, throw something, touch something or someone, show themselves, or provide some other type of very real and observable manifestation of their presence. It is frequently used during a vigil. How do you provoke? The best way I can think of to answer the “how” of provoking is by way of illustration. Several investigators are in a room investigating a report of a shadowy ghost who looks like a man wearing a suit and who pushes people. The investigators are running their assorted audio and video recorders but nothing is happening. They ask the ghost to tap once if he is in the room. Nothing. They ask him to change the temperature or move a trigger object lying in the middle of the floor. Nothing. The audio recorders might pick up an EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon), but by definition these are recordings of ghost voices or sounds that investigators don’t hear and won’t discover until they analyze their evidence later. The investigators really want to get some solid evidence of a haunting before they leave. Finally, one investigator advises the others, “I’m going to try provoking.” The others assent. This is where the provoking begins. The first investigator shouts, “Okay, bully, if you can pick on other people, why can’t you pick on me? You loser!” They wait several seconds to listen for sounds, to watch for objects to be thrown, and to leave room for a possible EVP to appear on their recorders later. Then the second investigator chimes in, “You knuckle head! Come on. You want a piece of us, don’t you! Bring it on, sissy pants!” [Just for your information, I’m keeping this clean because I don’t want my article to get an “R” rating. The language during a provoking might get much rougher, or not, depending on the religious views or geographic origin of the investigators. If you don’t mind foul language, make sure you have someone from New Jersey in your group. They are masters of the craft; just make sure that when you reveal your evidence to your clients there are no small children in the room.] The provoking in this hypothetical scenario would then continue alternating between moments of deliberately offensive fight-picking and moments of silence. If the investigators are successful, then at some point they will start getting some of the physical evidence they are looking for. One of the investigators says, “You’re momma is sooooooo ugly that…” and then suddenly a cardboard box flies from a corner of the room and knocks the investigator right in the forehead, causing him to abruptly end his corny joke from 1984 and land flat on his back. After the socially requisite 7 seconds of “Are you okay?” comments, then it is time for huge amounts of laughter and Schadenfreude. It’s also time for these investigators to pat themselves on the back because, if the video camera was rolling, they just caught some incredible evidence of paranormal activity. The evidence would be further bolstered if, in the course of conducting further research on the location, the investigators discovered a man who loved to wear suits, who adored his homely mother, and who died there in 1897. Again, this entire scenario is fiction. Any similarity to actual people, living or dead, is completely coincidental. And if this whole scene shows up as a video on “YouTube” in a week, then I want a copy sent to my e-mail address as quickly as possible. (I also request that the role of “Man hit in head with cardboard box” be played by someone that looks like Tom Cruise, if not Tom Cruise himself.) While this scenario isn’t the only way provoking works, it is an example of a common way it works. Variations do occur. Why do you provoke? This is where it gets controversial. Some groups or individuals don’t provoke. They say it’s not appropriate in life, or in death, to be insulting and rude. Some investigators swear by it (no pun intended). And there are as many reasons for and against provoking as there are investigators. I’m going to provide a general outline and synthesis of some of the reasons that I have come across. If you do participate in provoking there are three assumptions that can be made that shed light on “why” we do, or do not, provoke. 1. Intelligent Haunting – The first assumption is that you are investigating what is commonly referred to as an “Intelligent Haunting.” An “Intelligent” haunting is one where the ghosts are aware you there and are capable of interacting with you. I don’t have any answers to any of these questions, but we should consider them when we start provoking Another thing to consider is whether or not we even know which spirits we are provoking. What if we start hurling profanity-laden invectives in a room we think is haunted by an angry evil man but in fact is haunted by an innocent child? Do we as investigators truly have the capability to know who our audience is? Again, I have no answer. I only mention this as a consideration when we examine the “why” and “whether to or not” of provokingThese three assumptions are by no means the only assumptions we make when we provoke, but they serve to illustrate some of the reasons why. In closing, provoking is one of numerous tools that paranormal investigators have as an option when conducting their investigations. But understanding “what” it is, “how” it works, and “why” we use it, are just the beginning. Some investigators have gotten very interesting results with its use. Some won’t touch it. There is a plethora of opinions about its effectiveness. If you have ever used this technique before, or just have some thoughts about this article or paranormal investigation in general, we at PPI are definitely interested in hearing your thoughts and experiences. Visit our forum and share your thoughts at our website: http://www.pacificparanormal.com/forums/. |
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| Last Updated ( Sunday, 14 June 2009 ) |
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